688. Bob Harwood

Bob HarwoodBetween the age of 20 and 40 I was consumed with a wide range of existential questions, but despite endless thinking and reading, I never found a single answer. Due to some business-related stress at the age of 40, I started a simple meditative exercise as a way to acquire some peace of mind, and within two weeks a major insight occurred that led to more meditative activities. Five months later a huge cosmic-consciousness event answered seven of my questions and catapulted me into a different reality. I then concluded that all answers were “within,” and for the next 15 years I went on silent meditation retreats with Christians, Buddhists, and Advaita groups during which all of my other questions got answered. Nevertheless, I still did not feel free. Then, a new question arose, “How is it possible to stay in a unity-conscious state of mind permanently rather than oscillating between a sense of selfhood and no-self?” In 1999, after a deep experience of gratitude on a solo hiking retreat, “the little guy in the head” (the sense of a personal “me”) totally vanished, and the result was freedom, contentment, and understanding.

Book: Pouring Concrete: A Zen Path to the Kingdom of God – Expanded Edition

Bob’s email

Transcript and summary of this interview

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group

Interview recorded August 19, 2023

Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.

YouTube Video Chapters:

00:00:00 – Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump
00:04:43 – Questioning Beliefs and Exploring Existential Questions
00:08:25 – The Journey of Seeking Answers in Zen Philosophy
00:12:17 – The Shift in Perception
00:16:07 – A Reality Shift
00:19:54 – The End of the Construction Company
00:24:03 – Realization of the Incomprehensible
00:28:16 – Simple answers to Zen riddles
00:32:17 – Finding Freedom in the Middle of Responsibilities
00:35:50 – Questioning Selfhood and Freedom in the Mountains
00:38:59 – The Dissolution of the Sense of Self
00:42:30 – The True Self and Identity
00:46:00 – The Silence of the Mind
00:49:19 – Non-Abidance in the Mind
00:52:39 – The Kingdom of God Inside and Outside of You
00:55:59 – Shifting Attention Beyond the Mind
01:02:47 – The Benefits of Practice and Reconfiguration
01:06:16 – The Natural Inclination to Help Others
01:09:50 – The Depth of Awakening
01:13:12 – Falling Asleep During Meditation
01:16:26 – Realizing the Irrelevance of a Silent Mind
01:20:00 – Seeking Benefit in the Present Moment
01:23:32 – Intuition and the Home of All Knowledge
01:27:00 – Knowing and achieving specific things in life
01:30:50 – The Blissful State on the Deathbed
01:34:07 – Embracing the Unknowable Future
01:37:31 – The Universal Sound
01:40:44 – The Challenges of Maintaining Friendships
01:48:00 – Wrapping Up with Bob

659. Jessica Eve

After years of radical liberation in my own absence eventually became another kind of prison, I found freedom from “Enlightenment” in the freedom to live a richly human bittersweet life, in a new way, the way of transimmanence, in which the spiritual and the material are unified, and everything including suffering is a sacred expression of the divine.

Discovering how many other people have been harmed by modern adaptations of liberation via self-negation teachings, I’ve become a Spiritual Emergence Coach, and run peer support groups for people experiencing spiritual crisis, especially related to Neo-Advaita.

Interview recorded August 21, 2022

Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.


YouTube Video Chapters:

  • 00:00:00 – Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump
  • 00:04:02 – Childhood Panic Attacks and Existential Thoughts
  • 00:07:49 – Dissolution of the Sense of Self
  • 00:11:20 – The Beginnings of Pure OOCD and Existential Thoughts
  • 00:15:26 – Awakening Beyond Thought and Self
  • 00:19:43 – The Path of Jnana Yoga
  • 00:23:34 – Exploring the Demise of Ego and Boundaries
  • 00:27:20 – The Dark Side of Radical Contentment
  • 00:31:35 – Concerns about Neo-Advaita in Self-Help Books
  • 00:35:20 – The Relief of Realizing Nothing Matters
  • 00:39:45 – The Fear of Death and Martyr Complex
  • 00:44:23 – Embracing Paradox in Spiritual Awareness
  • 00:47:58 – The Erosion of Language and Relationships
  • 00:51:59 – The Pitfall of the Spiritual Ego
  • 00:55:35 – The Shift into Depersonalization
  • 00:59:26 – The Value of Going through Different Phases
  • 01:03:32 – Exploring New Paradigms of Reality
  • 01:07:40 – The Illusion of Selflessness and Awakening
  • 01:11:09 – The challenge of Neo-Advaita spiritual teachings
  • 01:14:48 – The Non-permanence of Flashy Experiences and the Misunderstanding of Realization
  • 01:18:32 – Interpretations of the Ultimate Truth
  • 01:22:24 – Embracing Fear and the Process of Rebirth
  • 01:26:02 – Realization of the larger aspect of one’s nature
  • 01:29:25 – Dissolution of Physicality and Meditation Process
  • 01:32:59 – Kundalini Awakenings and the Dangers of Neo-Advaita
  • 01:36:27 – The Nothing Conference
  • 01:40:17 – The Oneness of Individuals
  • 01:43:30 – Eye Gazing and Unividuality
  • 01:47:23 – The Severe Consequences of Toxic Teachings
  • 01:50:52 – Living in Boundlessness and Boundaries
  • 01:54:18 – Subscriber Notification System

658. Matt Garrett

Growing up, a burning desire to seek truth took hold. After years of searching, the need to see reality overtook the need to avoid suffering. Through the marriage of inquiry and surrender, realization unfolded in ways that could never have been imagined by my former self.

After seeing through the illusion of separation, there is now a keen interest in exploring the mystery of reality and the human form. The stage of integrating this non-dual understanding into daily life is ongoing and beautiful, and something I return to daily. Not just to help myself, but to look for ways to alleviate suffering for anyone who is interested.

Website: matt-garrett.org

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group

Transcript of this interview

Interview recorded August 14, 2022

Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.


YouTube Video Chapters:

  • 00:00:00 – Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump
  • 00:06:32 – Finding Freedom through Surrender and Inquiry
  • 00:13:07 – The Paradox of No Self
  • 00:20:28 – The Empty Body and the Aliveness Within
  • 00:26:32 – Inquiry into the Self and Objects
  • 00:30:48 – Spiritual Development and Full Blossoming
  • 00:35:31 – Tapping into Non-Duality and Expressing It
  • 00:39:23 – The Relationship between Free Will and Determinism
  • 00:42:57 – Different Levels of Spiritual Maturity
  • 00:46:23 – The Importance of Discernment and Checking Desires
  • 00:49:05 – The Pendulum Analogy
  • 00:52:32 – The Courage to Pursue Inner Development and Incorporate it into Daily Life
  • 00:55:54 – The Fullness Within Yourself
  • 00:59:43 – Resistance and Trusting the Universe
  • 01:02:57 – The Play of Life and the Power of Surrender
  • 01:06:48 – The Awakening after Giving Up Seeking
  • 01:10:28 – Going Beyond the Self
  • 01:13:57 – Beyond Awakening
  • 01:17:28 – The Calling to Go Deeper
  • 01:21:28 – The Flexibility of Reality and the Dilemma of Purpose
  • 01:25:54 – Transitioning from Purpose to No Purpose
  • 01:30:01 – Finding Freedom Beyond Purpose
  • 01:33:40 – Surrender and Inquiry
  • 01:37:10 – The Wisdom to Accept the Unchangeable
  • 01:40:22 – The Transformation of Inquiry
  • 01:43:25 – Emotional Work and the Inquiring into the Self
  • 01:46:55 – The Impersonal Nature of Suffering
  • 01:50:53 – Surrendering Personal Suffering for Humanity
  • 01:54:45 – The Balance of Selfishness and Altruism in Helping Others
  • 02:00:23 – Knowing the Self and Helping Others
  • 02:05:21 – Farewell and Outro