Between the age of 20 and 40 I was consumed with a wide range of existential questions, but despite endless thinking and reading, I never found a single answer. Due to some business-related stress at the age of 40, I started a simple meditative exercise as a way to acquire some peace of mind, and within two weeks a major insight occurred that led to more meditative activities. Five months later a huge cosmic-consciousness event answered seven of my questions and catapulted me into a different reality. I then concluded that all answers were “within,” and for the next 15 years I went on silent meditation retreats with Christians, Buddhists, and Advaita groups during which all of my other questions got answered. Nevertheless, I still did not feel free. Then, a new question arose, “How is it possible to stay in a unity-conscious state of mind permanently rather than oscillating between a sense of selfhood and no-self?” In 1999, after a deep experience of gratitude on a solo hiking retreat, “the little guy in the head” (the sense of a personal “me”) totally vanished, and the result was freedom, contentment, and understanding.
Transcript and summary of this interview
Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group
Interview recorded August 19, 2023
Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.
YouTube Video Chapters:
00:00:00 – Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump
00:04:43 – Questioning Beliefs and Exploring Existential Questions
00:08:25 – The Journey of Seeking Answers in Zen Philosophy
00:12:17 – The Shift in Perception
00:16:07 – A Reality Shift
00:19:54 – The End of the Construction Company
00:24:03 – Realization of the Incomprehensible
00:28:16 – Simple answers to Zen riddles
00:32:17 – Finding Freedom in the Middle of Responsibilities
00:35:50 – Questioning Selfhood and Freedom in the Mountains
00:38:59 – The Dissolution of the Sense of Self
00:42:30 – The True Self and Identity
00:46:00 – The Silence of the Mind
00:49:19 – Non-Abidance in the Mind
00:52:39 – The Kingdom of God Inside and Outside of You
00:55:59 – Shifting Attention Beyond the Mind
01:02:47 – The Benefits of Practice and Reconfiguration
01:06:16 – The Natural Inclination to Help Others
01:09:50 – The Depth of Awakening
01:13:12 – Falling Asleep During Meditation
01:16:26 – Realizing the Irrelevance of a Silent Mind
01:20:00 – Seeking Benefit in the Present Moment
01:23:32 – Intuition and the Home of All Knowledge
01:27:00 – Knowing and achieving specific things in life
01:30:50 – The Blissful State on the Deathbed
01:34:07 – Embracing the Unknowable Future
01:37:31 – The Universal Sound
01:40:44 – The Challenges of Maintaining Friendships
01:48:00 – Wrapping Up with Bob
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