Diederik was born in 1942 in a tiny village south of what now is known as Jakarta, Indonesia. The first three and a half years of his life were spent in Japanese POW camps and it was here that he formed most of his core beliefs, beliefs which he thought were his actual ‘character’. After some fifty years of self-loathing, alcohol, and drug abuse he decided there had to be a better way, it was time to ‘change his mind’ at the deepest levels. Through a Course in Miracles and Attitudinal Healing, he developed a radical forgiveness process that allows him to transform the self he hated into a Self whose only function is to extend love. Choose Again, his charitable society, operates a healing center in Costa Rica and he gives talks and teaches workshops in many places around the world.
Some main points discussed in this conversation.
Everything happens for a reason.
Diederik’s work goes beneath symptoms to the core belief that ‘chooses’ the symptoms.
Most core beliefs are formed in the first 8 years of life, and sometimes even in utero.
Diederik’s birth and early life in a Japanese POW camp. His troubled background.
Most children blame themselves when traumatic things happen to them. Their behavior eventually expresses that guilt.
Reading this line in A Course in Miracles completely changed Diederik’s life: “Sin is lack of love as darkness is lack of light.”
Recognizing that the world is a dream and that we are its author enables us to write a different script.
Whatever we do in life reflects who we think we are.
Feelings are vehicles that can take us back to the moment when their underlying beliefs were formed.
“Nothing outside of me can bring me anything I need and nothing outside of me needs to change for me to be happy.”
The essence of all these teachings: I am the author of my experience and everything in my life is for me.
If you decide that happiness and joy are your goals, then whatever happens will serve that goal.
Bliss is the goal of this process.
The importance of ongoing practice. It gets easier if you persist.
Diederik’s Six-Step Process:
Step 1: I’m upset.
Step 2: Me: It’s about me.
Step 3: Focus on the feelings.
Step 4: Remember my ancient feelings.
Step 5: Establish my judgment of myself.
Step 6: Embrace the truth about me.
“Discomfort is aroused only to bring the need for correction to awareness.”
This interview was recorded May 15, 2020, as part of an online conference entitled “Wisdom in Times of Crisis” offered by the Science and Nonduality Conference, held May 17-23, entitled Wisdom in Times of Crisis. The conference has finished, but you may sign up to access all of its content.
Scott Kiloby is an author and international speaker on mindfulness and addiction recovery. Scott is also the founder and director of the Kiloby Center for Recovery. After twenty years of addiction to drugs and alcohol, Scott began to develop Natural Rest for Addiction which has helped people all over the world confront the root of their addiction, anxiety, and depression.
Scott was the COO of MyLife Recovery which held the patent on the naltrexone implant. Scott also developed an app that acts as an interface between pain management doctors and their patients to decrease the likelihood of addiction. The app also protects doctors legally from claims of negligence arising out of opiate overdoses.
Originally from southern Indiana, Scott was an attorney for several years before becoming an author. He travels extensively across the United States and in Europe giving talks, seminars, and intensives.
Along with his work at the Kiloby Center, Scott is also the director and co-owner of the Natural Rest House, a detox and residential addiction treatment center located in La Quinta, California.
James’s podcast, Turning to the Mystics is for people searching for something more meaningful, intimate, and richly present in the divine gift of their lives. A clinical psychologist, James offers a modern take on the historical contemplative practices of Christian mystics like Teresa of Avila and Thomas Merton. Leaning into their experiences can become a gateway to hope, healing, and oneness. In each episode, Jim reads an excerpt from a mystical text, unpacks the meaning and symbolism, and then concludes with meditation and prayer. Together with Kirsten Oates from the Center for Action and Contemplation, they explore listener questions and examine their own paths as modern contemplatives in this beautiful and broken world.