I grew up in a hard-working family, none religious. At the age of 18, I learned that the Father I’d known all my life was not, in fact, my biological Father. This new-found fact destabilized the identity I had become accustomed to. The idea of who I was came under question. I was left asking, who am I. What then followed was ten years of drinking. At 27 I found myself in recovery from alcoholism. I spent three and a half years examining all the aspects of self-identified traits in order to find an honesty that would propel me into a more productive direction. After three and a half years I came to see that all willful attempts at modifying the self still remained within the paradigm of self-will. I had not transcended into honesty. It was at this point in a room one evening in 99 that I handed all attachment to the mind for any orientation to ongoing recovery. In doing so, not knowing what lay beyond, there was to be a complete self-realization.
Book: Walking Awake
Website: invitationtobeing.org
Interview recorded 11/21/2015
Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.
YouTube Video Chapters:
- 00:00:00 – Introduction and Background
- 00:04:19 – Past Lives and Memories
- 00:08:33 – Family Background and Drinking Habits
- 00:11:51 – Identity Crisis and the Impact of Discovering the Truth
- 00:16:01 – Experimenting with Reality and Alcohol Addiction
- 00:19:42 – Escaping into Art and Self-Destruction
- 00:23:43 – A Turning Point in Recovery
- 00:27:38 – The Powerlessness of Alcoholism
- 00:32:08 – Impact of a Simple Sentence
- 00:36:36 – Walking Away from the Fellowship
- 00:40:39 – The Search for Authenticity
- 00:45:29 – Surrendering the Mind to a Higher Power
- 00:50:21 – Letting go of the Mind
- 00:55:11 – The Opening of the Heart and the Dark Void
- 01:00:24 – Relating from Absolute and the Heart
- 01:05:29 – Realization and Appreciation of Spiritual Texts
- 01:09:14 – The Dissipation of the Body of Illusion
- 01:13:44 – Living in relation to Absolute
- 01:18:07 – Dissociation and Formlessness
- 01:21:52 – The Uncommon Language of Self-Realization
- 01:25:53 – From Therapy to Awakening
- 01:30:12 – The Integration of Self-realization and Mind Experience
- 01:35:24 – The Direct Experience of Consciousness
- 01:39:48 – Union with the Absolute
- 01:44:15 – Attunement and Entrainment in Silence
- 01:48:38 – Awakening to the Absolute
- 01:52:20 – The Play of I Am-ness and Curiosity
- 01:56:36 – The Blossoming of Curiosity and Direct Experience
- 02:01:11 – Spiritual Realization and Relationships
- 02:05:42 – The Breaking Point for Addicts and Alcoholics
- 02:09:30 – Conclusion and Farewell
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