619. Lucy Grace

Lucy GraceLucy was raised in a low socioeconomic household and neighborhood, by a young single mother in New Zealand in the early 1980s.

The lack of resources available in childhood resulted in a shrinking of her outer world to what she thought of –  years later – as a kind of welfare-child ashram. Within the home, and outside of it, there were few distractions or ability to go anywhere else, and significant trauma – all forcing her to go within to what she thought of as “the deep stillness and light inside” to rest, find nourishment, solace, and strength.

At 19 she experienced her first shift, seeing through the personality, and subtle perceptions revealing themselves.

She never thought much of it, there had already been so much light inside, and she was so thrilled to be in the world finally so she simply went on with living.

After a brief stint in television journalism, Lucy spent 15 years in Europe and New Zealand working for international humanitarian aid agencies.

On return to NZ at age 31, she suddenly became extremely ill.  For six months, she was mostly bedridden. Doctors, both natural and traditional, could not find the source of the illness.

Over the next few years, she had to work to earn an income but there was no strength for much else. The pain in her body was ever-present, and the fear of not knowing if this was her life forever now, was sometimes crippling.

She was forced to exist in a kind of in-between world again – of much aloneness and silence, aside from work.

After a few years of significant illness, she recovered strength enough to live a semi-normal life. But any time she tried to do too much, she was knocked back into illness.

By 35 she was in a leadership role at a non-profit, married, with a baby on the way, just surviving day-to-day with the pressure on her physical body.

On becoming a mother, she was plunged into a level of blackness that was completely shocking and previously unknown.

For more than two years she descended into complete separation and couldn’t hear the guidance that had always accompanied her in her life. For the first time ever she couldn’t feel God.

In 2018, after more than two years of immense struggle, an unexplainable and absolute surrender took place within, in a moment, as her two-year-old cried and reached for her.

Within two months she had left the career she loved to rest in what she thought of as silence. For around a year and a half, she couldn’t do much else.

Lucy had never been exposed to spirituality, nor did she know anything about its concepts or traditions. She thought meditation was for “those hippy people.”

Because there had been no conscious spiritual search, she had no context for what was happening. Often it was so beautiful and joyful – she didn’t need to know. There was an innate sense of trust and recognition that went beyond what needed to be seen or understood with the mind.

When the need to understand did arise – some online searches helped a little, but often it all felt overwhelming, and she preferred sitting in silence to hear from within. Guidance and teaching were always present and given through hearing and images. Despite this, when particularly strange things would occur the need for the mind to understand would return.

One night in 2019, before sleep, in heartfelt prayer she asked for help to cut through all the online noise and finally really grasp what was going on. There was a felt sense of need for community.

As she was awakening in the morning, she heard the words “Buddha at the Gas Pump”. Lucy says, “I was stumped. I had no idea what that meant, but Googled it and found BatGap. As a result, my life has changed. Over the years BatGap has supported me deeply in the process – nurturing trust and allowing everything to unfold as it wants to.”

From then until now, Lucy has been called over and over into deeper surrender. She has had further shifts and many clearings. Her career of 15 years, husband/partner of 16 years, many friends, and her home – all things she loved dearly – have fallen away.

She has never had a teacher and has read very little. She is not selling anything and makes no claim to know anything.

It seems to her that there is nothing to know, or that can be known. There is no one way and no right way. There is only your way, to be honoured and cherished and fallen into more and more deeply in every breath.

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Interview recorded October 9, 2021.

Video below. Audio coming soon.

585. Doug Scott

Doug ScottDoug Scott, LCSW, works as a mental health counselor in his private practice in Dallas, Texas.  After graduating from college in 1997, he served as an international volunteer for two years in Bluefields, Nicaragua. This intense experience changed his life and he returned to the US to pursue graduate studies in clinical social work and pastoral ministry at Boston College. The nexus of spirituality and psychology have always intrigued Doug since childhood and he brings this sensibility to his counseling practice.

Doug grew up Catholic and was always drawn to the mystical lineage within this belief system.  He had experiences with Jesus, Mary, and angels at an early age. He was also secretly attracted to all things paranormal and would spend many hours reading topics such as reincarnation, ufology, OBE’s, NDE’s, ghosts, ESP, pyramids, and other areas.

One evening in 2013, he felt a presence that invited him to listen to a Buddhist chant, which came as a surprise since, at that time, he had not explored other faith systems. He was guided to listen to Om Mani Padme Hum and as the chant unfolded, Doug saw a golden dew overshadow him and activate him in a way that was new.  This marked the next chapter in Doug’s life.

A few months later, Doug was led to the Law of One material and immediately saw that it provided the clearest, most undistorted, exploration of the Perennial Philosophy that he’d ever come across. It also cast a wide net to include all of the paranormal things that intrigued him and made it possible for him to put all of the different threads in his life together in one seamless garment.

Since 2015, Doug has written a blog (cosmicchrist.net) that explores the synthesis of the Law of One material with mystical Christianity and psychology.  He sees his vocation in this lifetime as a bridge-builder between conventional concepts and cosmic metaphysics to help people who seek clarity, normalization, and validation for their own journeys.

Main points discussed:

  • Tapping into the imaginal realms, the subtle realms, through the “heart-eyes.”
  • The chakras of the Logos, God, are densities. Densities are different bandwidths of consciousness.
  • Nature of the Infinite Creator as sentient Love, or Logos.
  • Diversification within the Holographic Universe allows the Infinite Creator to experience Itself, infinitely.
  • Christianity’s need to move into the mystical and nondual
  • Consciousness is measured through degrees of knowing we are one with all, with God, and are God experiencing creation.
  • Brief descriptions of God’s chakras (“densities”).
  • Pantheism AND Panentheism are both true.
  • Third density’s veil-of-forgetting leads to development of faith, notions such as “Original Sin,” and more intense experiences for third-density humans.
  • The novel idea of “finity” against the backdrop of infinity is a way for the Infinite Creator to experience Itself.
  • Many people have incarnated to be midwives to help birth Earth’s 4th.
  • Shift into 4th density is a gradual process that includes an ever-increasing number of 3rd/4th densities double-bodied people.
  • Some of Doug’s background:
    • 1) dual master’s program at Boston College in clinical social work and pastoral ministry,
    • 2) childhood UFO encounter,
    • 3) alcohol recovery leads to greater self-insight,
    • 4) mystical experience in 2013 of Om Mani Padme Hum and the golden dew,
    • 5) Law of One material (lawofone.info) and Daskalos material (researchersoftruth.org)
  • Brief description of Wanderers: humble servants from 4th, 5th, or 6th density who incarnate in 3rd density to aid.
  • Jesus as a Wanderer had a unique mission known as the Jesus Event.
  • The greatest service as an awakening being is to embrace the full plenum of God disguised as our life and ordinary things. Nothing “up there” that is not fully present “down here.”
  • Triune nature of the Infinite Creator: Transcendent to all things, Incarnated as all things, Indwelling within all things.
  • Reality is “cruciform” in that every aspect of the manifested universe follows the eternal pattern of death and resurrection. The symbol of the cross or ankh is the great archetypal symbol that captures this cruciform reality.
  • Learning how to live in liminal space is the mark of spiritual and psychological maturity.
  • Offering our suffering as a sacrifice in solidarity with all others experiencing suffering is a great gesture of love and serves the collective.
  • Learning about social inequities, participating in social justice, and helping to empower marginalized groups helps to activate the fourth density.
  • Spiral Dynamics can help us understand the different levels of consciousness.
  • The Spiral is made up of seven levels in the first tier and has an overarching ethos: “transcend and exclude.” There is no innate awareness that levels exist even though each level mistrusts and even hates any other level, whether above or below.
  • The second tier of the Spiral is difficult to get to, but it is the onset of nondual consciousness. The overarching ethos is: “include and transcend.”
  • Future fourth-density living could be characterized by living from second-tier values beginning at birth.

Spiral Dynamics graphic displayed during the interview:

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Interview recorded January 30, 2021.

Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.

562. James Finley

As a contemplative practitioner and clinical psychologist, James Finley helps seekers who desire to live a contemplative, whole life. Drawing from his experience as a former monk and spiritual directee of Thomas Merton, Jim offers trustworthy guidance for the spiritual journey through his website, online courses, occasional retreats, and the Center for Action and Contemplation where he serves as a core faculty member of The Living School for Action and Contemplation with Cynthia Bourgeault and Richard Rohr. Jim is the author of several books, including:

James’s podcast, Turning to the Mystics is for people searching for something more meaningful, intimate, and richly present in the divine gift of their lives. A clinical psychologist, James offers a modern take on the historical contemplative practices of Christian mystics like Teresa of Avila and Thomas Merton. Leaning into their experiences can become a gateway to hope, healing, and oneness. In each episode, Jim reads an excerpt from a mystical text, unpacks the meaning and symbolism, and then concludes with meditation and prayer. Together with Kirsten Oates from the Center for Action and Contemplation, they explore listener questions and examine their own paths as modern contemplatives in this beautiful and broken world.

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Interview recorded August 1, 2020.

Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.