My birth took place January 7, 1949 on a small rural farm in East Tennessee, but somehow I did not forget my spiritual nature in the process of arriving there as a human. As a child, I remembered myself being free from the limitations of form and language, and I made two vows: first, never to forget who I am and the freedom I had prior to birth, and second, to find my way home no matter what it took. In my youth, I experienced a nagging urge to know the Truth of my existence. By the age of 19, this urge developed into a fierce determination to find that Truth at the risk of everything – career, relationships, physical and even mental health.
My quest took me into many investigations including teaching the TM program of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi for 12 years. Every investigation left me dissatisfied until the late 1980’s, when Sathya Sai Baba began to appear in my dreams and meditations. I finally journeyed to Baba’s ashram in July 1990. The moment I saw him step off the veranda, I recalled my childhood vow to find my way home. In that very moment, I knew He was living my home. In the fall of 1992, Shirdi Sai Baba appeared to me and took me into a state of union with His Presence. Over the following months, my personal identity completely dissolved. What remained was infinite formless Being, immense love, and the Truth I had sought.
Over the next 12 years I expanded in my understanding of Truth, and the knowledge that I am the originator of all existence took root in my innermost sense of subjectivity. Eventually, I found myself in a painful relationship with a woman and began investigating the human element I had been working diligently to overcome in the name of spirituality. I had difficulty justifying my intense feelings of distress with my very high sense of spiritual freedom as transcendent Consciousness. My investigation led me to an initial encounter with the embodied conscious awakening teachings of Saniel Bonder and Waking Down in Mutuality in 2002. I quickly concluded I needed help in balancing and integrating my Divine realization with my very human shadow and brokenness. When I experienced my embodied awakening, I witnessed Consciousness fall from my crown area into the Heart center on the right side of my chest.
As the embodiment process has deepened, I have asked this question: ‘What does Life want of me?’ From that query, the role of teaching Waking Down in Mutuality has arisen. I am clearly teaching what I need to learn, and have much love to share for those who dare the journey into the great Mystery of embodied awakening.
Interview recorded 5/15/2011
Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.