589. Raymond Schumann

Kundalini, Ego Death, and Holdfast

Summary: A candid conversation about a prolonged Kundalini awakening, the collapse of ego structures, and the inner force Raymond calls Holdfast. The discussion also explores free will, dissociation, spiritual practice, and the risks and possibilities of working with powerful inner energies.

Questions This Interview Explores

• How can a spiritual awakening intensify inner conflict before it brings healing?
• What is Holdfast, and how can a person recognize the part of themselves that blocks desire and growth?
• Can ego structures be dissolved, and what does that process feel like in daily life?
• How do free will, karma, and spiritual practice look when inner forces seem to override personal choice?
• What are the dangers of working with Kundalini, shakti, and other powerful spiritual energies?

In this conversation, Raymond Schumann shares a hard-won account of awakening, healing, and the long struggle to make sense of a powerful inner process. The discussion moves through dissociation, sexual repression, Kundalini, ego death, and the search for a deeper kind of spiritual freedom.

Raymond describes the part of himself he calls Holdfast, the force that seemed to thwart desire, distort life, and resist change. He and Rick also explore the nature of ego holons, the limits of free will, the role of journaling and meditation, and why spiritual power can be both illuminating and dangerous.

This is a raw and often humorous interview about what it can mean when awakening does not arrive as a gentle blessing, but as a year of upheaval that changes everything.

If you would like to contact Raymond, here’s his email address.

Transcript, summary, and key takeaways from this interview

Interview recorded February 28, 2021

YouTube Video Chapters:

• 00:00:00 – Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump
• 00:02:46 – The Self and Spiritual Consciousness
• 00:05:20 – Exploring Spiritual Interests in Youth
• 00:08:29 – The Self that Thwarted Desires
• 00:12:35 – The Impact of Kundalini Awakening on Daily Life
• 00:17:07 – Naming the Inner Drives “Holdfast”
• 00:21:35 – The Wrecking Ball of Kundalini
• 00:27:27 – Losing the Ego and Sense of Self
• 00:32:18 – The localized quality of experience and the ego construction
• 00:36:35 – The Role of Language in Human Existence
• 00:41:06 – The Evolution and Development of Ego
• 00:45:43 – The Complexity of the Ego and Ego Death
• 00:51:52 – The experience of self-recognition
• 00:56:25 – Liberation from Ego Holons
• 01:02:41 – Lack of Free Will
• 01:07:01 – First Do No Harm and Meeting Swami Muktananda
• 01:10:35 – Variables and the Flow of Shakti
• 01:13:39 – Meeting Bubastis
• 01:16:20 – The Cat with Psychic Inflation
• 01:19:10 – The Wisdom Download and Preparation
• 01:22:36 – Understanding the Clue
• 01:25:55 – The Risks of Playing with Powers
• 01:29:24 – The Chakra System and Ego Death
• 01:33:50 – The Importance of Writing Things Down
• 01:37:08 – The Power of Journaling and Meditation
• 01:41:30 – The Torture of Holdfast
• 01:45:30 – The Presence of God in Our Lives
• 01:48:39 – The meaning of “beyond the PALE”
• 01:53:53 – The Potential Impact of Spiritual Awakening and Transformation
• 01:58:18 – Closing Remarks and Contact Information
• 02:00:46 – Farewell and Thank You