660. Alaya Dickinson

Alaya first experienced brief glimpses leading to a spontaneous awakening in 1997. This left her with a burning fire for truth and a determination to find a release from her suffering. She was drawn to satsang and to the feet of her beloved Neelam: a teacher of the Ramana Maharshi lineage. From that very first meeting there arose a profound recognition of unconditional love but also a strong sense of separation and resistance. However, Alaya instinctively knew that penetrating the resistance was exactly what was needed to penetrate the suffering. With Neelam’s unconditional love this separation fell away shortly after the birth of Alaya’s first child in 2001.

With a new husband and baby, Alaya moved to Asheville. She found in her daily experience of being a householder and working mother, that there was much abiding awareness/living in present Reality. But the non-abiding dream state kept arising which created an even deeper desire to investigate what was still appearing as separation. She realized that what was needed was already in the life she was leading and that every moment was a gift and opportunity to return to the natural awakened Self. “My husband, my children, my job, everything is my teacher, and true love is laying down whatever pulls on you, turning back to this life with an open heart and open palms.” With the realization that ordinary everyday life was sacred and that each moment was the Beloved pointing us home, she continued to question and inquire into her ideas, perspectives, and feelings until the veil of separation finally fell away. “With tenderness and openness, conditioning can unmanifest – leaving what naturally remains, as stillness, presence and love.” As people began to ask her to teach, Grace appeared as the non-dual teacher Adyashanti and with his support and friendship she began to give satsang in 2011. “Grace is like gravity, it will continue to pull you within for the truth of who you are isn’t found in doing. It is found in the silence – in stillness.”

Website: alayasatsang.org

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Transcript of this interview

Interview recorded August 27, 2022

Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.


YouTube Video Chapters:

  • 00:00:00 – Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump
  • 00:04:08 – The Awakening Experience at a Young Age
  • 00:07:43 – Following Intuitive Knowing
  • 00:11:14 – Unknowing and Reformulation
  • 00:14:34 – The Unknowingness of Grass
  • 00:18:00 – The Fishiness of Life
  • 00:21:39 – A Diverse Community in a Double Wide Trailer Bar
  • 00:24:59 – A Transformational Experience
  • 00:28:39 – Deepening of Presence and Surrendering to the Vaster State
  • 00:32:16 – The Primal Resistance to Opening Up
  • 00:36:06 – The Trauma of Duality
  • 00:39:37 – The Stages of Spiritual Development and Societal Growth
  • 00:43:01 – Being of Service by Becoming Nobody
  • 00:47:11 – Different Roles and Different Paths
  • 00:51:06 – Unconditional Love and the Collapse of Searching
  • 00:55:26 – Carried by Grace
  • 00:58:56 – Deepening into Oneness with Neelam
  • 01:03:04 – The Decision to Move On
  • 01:07:08 – The Fear of Suffering and Awakening
  • 01:10:55 – Dissolving the Ego and Aligning with the Deeper Gift
  • 01:14:55 – Meeting Neelam and the Veil on My Face
  • 01:18:41 – The Role of a Teacher in Spiritual Awakening
  • 01:22:16 – The Gift of Healing and Transmission
  • 01:25:47 – Degrees of Receptivity and Awakening
  • 01:29:06 – Deeper embodiment of awakening
  • 01:32:47 – The Beauty of Constant Change
  • 01:35:59 – The Nature of the Path and the Danger of Feeling Accomplished
  • 01:39:31 – The Pitfall of Idolizing Teachers
  • 01:42:55 – Being of Service to Others
  • 01:46:49 – Expansion of Zoom Retreats and In-Person Meetings
  • 01:50:22 – Experiencing Psychological Trauma of Separation

658. Matt Garrett

Growing up, a burning desire to seek truth took hold. After years of searching, the need to see reality overtook the need to avoid suffering. Through the marriage of inquiry and surrender, realization unfolded in ways that could never have been imagined by my former self.

After seeing through the illusion of separation, there is now a keen interest in exploring the mystery of reality and the human form. The stage of integrating this non-dual understanding into daily life is ongoing and beautiful, and something I return to daily. Not just to help myself, but to look for ways to alleviate suffering for anyone who is interested.

Website: matt-garrett.org

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group

Transcript of this interview

Interview recorded August 14, 2022

Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.


YouTube Video Chapters:

  • 00:00:00 – Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump
  • 00:06:32 – Finding Freedom through Surrender and Inquiry
  • 00:13:07 – The Paradox of No Self
  • 00:20:28 – The Empty Body and the Aliveness Within
  • 00:26:32 – Inquiry into the Self and Objects
  • 00:30:48 – Spiritual Development and Full Blossoming
  • 00:35:31 – Tapping into Non-Duality and Expressing It
  • 00:39:23 – The Relationship between Free Will and Determinism
  • 00:42:57 – Different Levels of Spiritual Maturity
  • 00:46:23 – The Importance of Discernment and Checking Desires
  • 00:49:05 – The Pendulum Analogy
  • 00:52:32 – The Courage to Pursue Inner Development and Incorporate it into Daily Life
  • 00:55:54 – The Fullness Within Yourself
  • 00:59:43 – Resistance and Trusting the Universe
  • 01:02:57 – The Play of Life and the Power of Surrender
  • 01:06:48 – The Awakening after Giving Up Seeking
  • 01:10:28 – Going Beyond the Self
  • 01:13:57 – Beyond Awakening
  • 01:17:28 – The Calling to Go Deeper
  • 01:21:28 – The Flexibility of Reality and the Dilemma of Purpose
  • 01:25:54 – Transitioning from Purpose to No Purpose
  • 01:30:01 – Finding Freedom Beyond Purpose
  • 01:33:40 – Surrender and Inquiry
  • 01:37:10 – The Wisdom to Accept the Unchangeable
  • 01:40:22 – The Transformation of Inquiry
  • 01:43:25 – Emotional Work and the Inquiring into the Self
  • 01:46:55 – The Impersonal Nature of Suffering
  • 01:50:53 – Surrendering Personal Suffering for Humanity
  • 01:54:45 – The Balance of Selfishness and Altruism in Helping Others
  • 02:00:23 – Knowing the Self and Helping Others
  • 02:05:21 – Farewell and Outro

655. Victoria Ukachukwu

Victoria Ukachukwu, Ph.D.In 2014, I awakened to the realization that being aware is my true nature. The experience of just being aware without the identity of a person who is aware was at once exhilarating and disorienting. This simple but profound realization transformed my experience of life to one of effortless being. A wonderful result of this awakening is a lasting peace that transcends all experience. In this awakened sense of pure being, the physical body is experienced as an objective sense of being, and the mind is experienced as an objective sense of knowing. There is no longer the need for an individual identity as a person who ​is living life. There is only awareness and the experience of the objective sense of awareness in various forms of expressions. The illusion of a person being aware of objects dissolved and was replaced with a pervasive sense of joy and freedom.

Before 2014, my life was based on the story of a woman named Victoria Ukachukwu who is a trained scientist with a Ph.D. in Organic Chemistry from the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta and is a divorced mother of two daughters. All of my experiences derived from this core identity. Over time, this identity became very limiting and questions about God and the nature of reality began to arise. Science offered no satisfactory answers nor did the Catholic religion in which I was raised. In 2010 I discovered the teachings of non-duality. In particular, the teachings of Mooji and Rupert Spira. In 2012, I went to my first ​retreat with Rupert Spira and came away with more questions. It was not until June 2014 when I went to a second retreat with Rupert Spira that all questions dissolved with the recognition of my true nature.

Subsequently, in 2019, I discovered the timeless teaching of Joel Goldsmith which further reaffirmed and expanded my burgeoning understanding of spiritual principles that illuminate the nature of being.  In his book, The Master Speaks, Joel Goldsmith reminds us that the Truth of being is eternal regardless of how many different ways it is presented. Consciousness is the creative principle of life. Consciousness is the eternal truth of being. In my experience, being aware or Awareness Itself is our true nature and our only purpose. It is Absolute.

Victoria’s email address

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Transcript of this interview

Interview recorded July 16, 2022

Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.


YouTube Video Chapters:

  • 00:00:00 – Introduction and Background
  • 00:04:36 – Growing up Catholic and questioning belief in God
  • 00:09:15 – The Bookstore Encounter and Meditation Journey
  • 00:13:21 – Being More and Doing Less
  • 00:17:29 – Discovering Rupert Spira
  • 00:22:53 – Exhilaration and a sense of being aware
  • 00:28:01 – The Nature of Being and Pure Awareness
  • 00:33:17 – The simplicity of realizing true nature
  • 00:38:09 – The Secret of Harmonious Living in the Bible
  • 00:42:54 – Unity of All Beings
  • 00:47:18 – The Presence of God and Harmony
  • 00:52:13 – The Power to Overcome
  • 00:56:56 – Right Action and Restoring Peace
  • 01:00:36 – A Near-Drowning Experience
  • 01:04:19 – The Limits of Tools and Identity
  • 01:09:59 – The Personal and Universal Self
  • 01:14:19 – The Illusion of Separation
  • 01:18:00 – The Power of Clarification
  • 01:22:25 – Elevating the Level of Consciousness
  • 01:26:48 – The Release of Identity
  • 01:31:27 – Seeking the Kingdom of God
  • 01:35:43 – The Fear of Contagion and the Vaccine
  • 01:40:34 – The Eternal Nature of Being
  • 01:45:33 – Integration and Belief Systems in Psychology
  • 01:49:39 – The Master-Student Relationship
  • 01:54:25 – Freedom from Negative Emotions
  • 01:59:15 – Addressing from a Place of Power and Compassion
  • 02:03:26 – The Two I’s and the Conscious Realization of God
  • 02:08:51 – The Power of Stillness and Self-Realization
  • 02:12:51 – Rupert’s Teachings and Intellectual Rigor
  • 02:16:23 – Farewell to the Team