In the spring of 2011, I was cleaning a stove and quite suddenly the knob I was holding became the rag became my hand became the space became the stove as all lines between things between moments and between myself and the world dissolved. It was like the scales had fallen off my eyes! I had heard of no self but had never heard there were no things!
There was an intense psychological and physical relaxation, and I was amazed that my body didn’t crumble to the floor! It was obvious that there was no one doing life, and that life wasn’t happening to a me. It was the end of a lifetime propelled by hope and fear and need of a never arising next. It was as if time died. It was as if I had died, yet it was obvious that I had never existed, yet here I was!
This knowing feeling of seamlessness has not left for almost eight years. It is always obvious… it kisses me awake in the morning and holds me as I drift off to sleep…. life is overwhelmingly beautiful and wondrous always, like edgeless liquid love…. no matter what it looks or feels like.
The longing to sing of this, knowing that it cannot be kissed with words paints my reflection with sky in sky…. I am not a teacher or guru, simply a lover of love.
Books:
- To Kiss What Cannot Be Kissed…: Love songs from the canyon
- Liquid Eyes
- This Is It, Coyote
- Your Infinite Intimate Embrace: you have never left
Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.
Interview recorded April 13, 2019.
Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.
YouTube Video Chapters:
- 00:00:00 – Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump
- 00:05:06 – A Journey of Seeking and Glimpses
- 00:10:01 – The Search for the Elusive Goal
- 00:14:32 – The Terrifying Experience of Losing Beliefs
- 00:18:56 – The Burning of Personal Armageddon
- 00:23:35 – The Nature of Belief and Unknowing
- 00:28:42 – The Astonishing Nature of the Known World
- 00:33:30 – The Shift in Perception
- 00:38:00 – The Illusion of Separation and Thingness
- 00:42:20 – The Dream of Separation
- 00:46:47 – The Illusion of Separation in the Physical World
- 00:51:43 – The Unity of the House
- 00:57:01 – Life Doing Itself
- 01:00:45 – The Wholeness of the Universe
- 01:03:12 – The Shared Dream of Separation
- 01:06:19 – The Sword of Ignorance
- 01:09:41 – The Illusion of Self
- 01:13:24 – The Fear of False Evidence Appearing Real
- 01:18:10 – The Perception of an Actor
- 01:20:54 – Starting a Podcast & Creating a Website
- 01:24:13 – Awareness without perception
- 01:28:26 – Awareness in Deep Sleep
- 01:33:15 – Discussion on Paintings and Posters
- 01:36:23 – The Frustration of Seeking and Inner Transformation
- 01:40:29 – The Role of Spiritual Practices
- 01:44:55 – The Intensity of Desire and Love in Spiritual Practice
- 01:49:29 – The Co-dependency of the Seeker and the Teacher
- 01:53:23 – Embracing our Humanness
- 01:56:29 – Embracing the Flow of Thought and Emotion
- 01:59:53 – A Gentle Conversation
- 02:02:11 – Conclusion and Farewell
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