503. Kylea Taylor

Kylea Taylor, M.S., LMFT, found two gaps in ethics education in the early 1990s while simultaneously studying to be a Marriage and Family Therapist and working as a senior trainer at the Grof Transpersonal Training where she assisted Stanislav Grof in training practitioners of Holotropic Breathwork®. Kylea observed that working with clients in non-ordinary states of consciousness requires different ethical awarenesses. She drew upon the tenets of several of the great religions to create InnerEthics™, a model for ethical self-reflection. The model clarifies the unique ethical territory of understanding and working skillfully with people who are experiencing profound and extra-ordinary states of consciousness and also provides a scaffolding for recognizing our semi-conscious, inner motivations as practitioners, teachers, and caregivers in order to avoid client and student harm and increase client and student benefit. Her book, The Ethics of Caring: Finding Right Relationship With Clients for Profound, Transformative Work in Our Professional Healing Relationships, illuminates transference, countertransference, power dynamics, dual relationship, and other topics important to relational ethics. The book won the 2017 Nautilus Book Award in the category, “Relationships & Communication.”

Kylea teaches, writes, and consults about ethics. She is also currently President and co-founder of SoulCollage Inc., which since 2003 has been training facilitators worldwide to share an expressive arts method that promotes deep self-discovery, individually and in community. Kylea’s focus as a therapist has been on assisting clients in integrating the meaning and extra-ordinary gifts of spiritual emergence, awakening or transpersonal experiences, and what she calls “personal paradigm shift” phenomena.

Website

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Summary and transcript of this interview

Interview recorded May 18, 2019.

YouTube Video Chapters:

  • 00:00:00 – Introduction to Kylea Taylor and InnerEthics
  • 00:03:14 – The Importance of Inner Motivations in Ethics
  • 00:07:14 – Changing the Culture: A Mission for Ethical Behavior
  • 00:10:29 – Development and Impediments in Different Ways
  • 00:13:36 – Right Relationship and Learning from Mistakes
  • 00:16:56 – The Interconnectedness of All Beings
  • 00:20:24 – An Ethical Crisis in the Spiritual Community
  • 00:24:14 – The Importance of Discernment in Spiritual Teachers
  • 00:27:26 – Peer Supervision and the Johari Window
  • 00:31:22 – The Importance of Self-Reflection for Teachers
  • 00:34:39 – Power dynamics in spiritual communities
  • 00:38:27 – Ethical Fading and the Detriment to Clients
  • 00:42:01 – The Rajneesh community and the ethics of the student
  • 00:45:13 – The Importance of Protection, Permission, and Connection
  • 00:49:28 – Healing from Spiritual Wounding and Trauma
  • 00:53:27 – Non-traditional therapy for PTSD
  • 00:57:47 – Trusting the Inner Healer in Psychedelic Therapy
  • 01:01:29 – Holotropic Breathwork and Psychedelics Comparison
  • 01:05:33 – The Mechanics of Holotropic Breathwork and Prana Awakening
  • 01:09:12 – A Powerful Kundalini Opening
  • 01:13:07 – Caution in Non-Ordinary States of Consciousness
  • 01:16:25 – Moving towards positive change with #MeToo movement
  • 01:20:01 – Types of Individuals Who Might Benefit from Self-Reflection
  • 01:23:51 – Learning from Mistakes and Apologizing
  • 01:27:08 – Redemption and Transformation
  • 01:31:10 – The InnerEthics Model and Self-Reflection
  • 01:35:15 – Switching Hats: Finding Balance in Therapy
  • 01:38:46 – The Importance of Ethics in Spiritual Development
  • 01:42:21 – Different Experiences in Spiritual Emergence
  • 01:46:06 – Surrendering Control
  • 01:49:45 – Justification through illusion

482.2 Ethics and Spiritual Teaching Panel at the Science and Nonduality Conference

  • Questioning whether higher consciousness and ethical behavior are tightly correlated.
  • The founding of
    the Association for Spiritual Integrity (formerly the Association of Professional Spiritual Teachers).
  • The attempt to formulate a code of ethics that might apply universally in the contemporary spiritual community and enliven an understanding of what may or may not be appropriate, giving students greater confidence in their own discernment and discrimination.
  • Ancient traditions held the teacher beyond reproach and students surrendered their own will. This may have worked in monastic settings but generally does not work today.
  • Preventative support so we’re not busy doing cleanup.
  • Power hierarchies should not be an essential part of spiritual development and can lead to abuses.
  • Spiritual awakening does not necessarily qualify a person to offer advice on relationships, finances, etc.
  • Ethical training of some sort is integral to most honored traditions.
  • The issue of sexism and patriarchy in spiritual organizations.
  • Entering the teaching profession prematurely.
  • All too often, when teachers are challenged on their behavior, they ignore the challenger or become defensive.
  • How do we offer the possibility for redemption and atonement?
  • Moving away from a culture of competition to one of cooperation.
  • The importance of humility.
  • The importance of teachers not identifying with their role and thinking that students’ devotion is about them.
  • South Africa’s “Truth and Reconciliation” as a model.

Discussion of this panel in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Summary and Transcript of this discussion

Recorded October 27, 2018

YouTube Video Chapters:

  • 00:00:00 – The Disconnect Between Higher States of Consciousness and Ethical Behavior
  • 00:02:15 – Developing a Universal Code of Ethics
  • 00:04:11 – Creating Ethical Standards for Spiritual Teachers
  • 00:06:04 – The Purpose of Spirituality
  • 00:08:05 – Redesigning the Future of Spirituality
  • 00:10:46 – Healing and Support
  • 00:12:55 – Education and Growth as a Community
  • 00:14:36 – The Importance of Addressing Abusive Power
  • 00:17:01 – Opening up to Questions and Collaboration
  • 00:19:03 – The Usefulness of CPE for Spiritual Teachers
  • 00:20:34 – The Importance of Boundaries and Power Dynamics in Communities
  • 00:22:31 – The Importance of Ethical Development in Spiritual Practice
  • 00:25:03 – The Healing Power of Community
  • 00:27:06 – Cedar Barstow: The Right Use of Power in Spirituality
  • 00:29:03 – Equal Gender Representation
  • 00:31:41 – The prevalence of gender imbalance and abuse in the community
  • 00:34:07 – Moving beyond collective conditioning
  • 00:36:31 – The Perpetual Debate on Relationships and Ethics
  • 00:38:41 – The Spiritual Aspect of Trauma
  • 00:40:39 – The Deep Desire Within
  • 00:42:28 – Empowering Students and Demanding Accountability
  • 00:43:57 – Premature Immaculation
  • 00:46:21 – Challenging Ethics in the Spiritual Community
  • 00:48:01 – Addressing Apologies, Making Amends, and Atonement
  • 00:50:14 – Creating a Culture of Accountability
  • 00:52:14 – Moving towards a culture of cooperation
  • 00:53:57 – The Importance of Humility in Learning
  • 00:55:25 – The Importance of a Deeper Student-Teacher Relationship
  • 00:57:34 – Abuse of Power in Teaching and Learning
  • 00:59:10 – Mutual Healing and Reconciliation
  • 01:01:34 – The Birth of Something Helpful

482.1 The Ethics of Teacher-Student Romantic Relationships

The Ethics of Teacher-Student Romantic Relationships

  • The Association for Spiritual Integrity does not have a moralistic, judgmental orientation. It’s a community endeavor. We don’t agree among ourselves on certain points. We’re trying to balance our subjective perspectives with standards that fit our contemporary culture.
  • A key point of disagreement is the issue of teacher-student romantic/sexual relationships. None of us are rigid or adamant in our opinions. We’re trying to work it out.
  • There are exceptions to every generality. In graduate school, psychotherapists are taught that it will never be appropriate for therapists and their clients to become partners.
  • Relationships tend to be the most challenging aspect of people’s lives. These challenges shouldn’t bleed into a teacher’s teaching activities.
  • When a teacher/student or therapist/client relationship transitions into romantic involvement, the potential for growth is undermined.
  • Sometimes “divine compulsion” arises in your spiritual path, shattering your conception of appropriate behavior.
  • The problem with teachers who haven’t transcended desire and explored their own shadow.
  • There can be a huge disparity between the apparent enlightenment of a teacher and their behavior.
  • Isolation and being closed to constructive criticism can be very dangerous for a teacher.
  • If a teacher doesn’t have friends other than his students, he might want to ask why. If he doesn’t have regular relationships and is always on a pedestal, he won’t get real-world feedback.
  • The culture is changing anyway. We’re just trying to give voice to values that are becoming lively in collective consciousness.
  • There can be a lot of practice involved in having your actions be a reflection of your deepest understanding.

Discussion of this panel in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Summary and Transcript of this discussion

Recorded October 26, 2018

YouTube Video Chapters:

  • 00:00:00 – Introduction and Panel Discussion Preparation
  • 00:02:18 – Introduction of Panel Discussion and its Purpose
  • 00:04:09 – The Fluidity of the Situation and the Need for Collaboration
  • 00:05:42 – Discussing Regulation of Teacher-Student Relationships
  • 00:07:13 – Teachers and romantic relationships with students
  • 00:08:51 – The Importance of Boundaries in the Teacher-Student Relationship
  • 00:10:02 – Messiness in Relationships and the Sangha
  • 00:11:18 – The Importance of Boundaries in Therapeutic Relationships
  • 00:12:27 – Breaking the Golden Rule
  • 00:13:33 – Choosing God over my marriage
  • 00:14:48 – The Journey of Teacher-Student Relationships
  • 00:16:11 – Protecting Students from Teacher Misconduct
  • 00:17:39 – Violation of Trust and its Consequences
  • 00:19:01 – Projection into the Sangha
  • 00:20:12 – Bringing the Conversation into the Light
  • 00:21:24 – The Deception of Enlightened Teachers
  • 00:22:29 – Building Accountability and Transparency
  • 00:23:43 – The Power of Shared Accountability and Learning Together
  • 00:24:57 – Reflections on Personal Growth
  • 00:26:01 – Creating a Supportive Community
  • 00:27:26 – Open Feedback and Accountability
  • 00:28:33 – Dysfunction in Relationships and the Need for Community
  • 00:29:31 – Coming together in support and solidarity
  • 00:30:18 – Creating a new type of sangha
  • 00:31:33 – The Importance of Continuous Learning and Growth
  • 00:32:26 – Creating openness and transparency for genuine collaboration
  • 00:33:38 – The Intractable Conversation
  • 00:34:37 – The Importance of Ethics for Young Teachers
  • 00:36:02 – Learning Boundaries and Working with Power
  • 00:37:35 – The Gift of a Supportive Community
  • 00:38:57 – Website Launch and Conclusion
  • 00:40:13 – Music Introduction