602. Diederik Wolsak

Diederik WolsakDiederik was born in 1942 in a tiny village south of what now is known as Jakarta, Indonesia. The first three and a half years of his life were spent in Japanese POW camps and it was here that he formed most of his core beliefs, beliefs which he thought were his actual ‘character’. After some fifty years of self-loathing, alcohol, and drug abuse he decided there had to be a better way, it was time to ‘change his mind’ at the deepest levels. Through a Course in Miracles and Attitudinal Healing, he developed a radical forgiveness process that allows him to transform the self he hated into a Self whose only function is to extend love. Choose Again, his charitable society, operates a healing center in Costa Rica and he gives talks and teaches workshops in many places around the world.

Some main points discussed in this conversation.

  • Everything happens for a reason.
  • Diederik’s work goes beneath symptoms to the core belief that ‘chooses’ the symptoms.
  • Most core beliefs are formed in the first 8 years of life, and sometimes even in utero.
  • Diederik’s birth and early life in a Japanese POW camp. His troubled background.
  • Most children blame themselves when traumatic things happen to them. Their behavior eventually expresses that guilt.
  • Reading this line in A Course in Miracles completely changed Diederik’s life: “Sin is lack of love as darkness is lack of light.”
  • Recognizing that the world is a dream and that we are its author enables us to write a different script.
  • Whatever we do in life reflects who we think we are.
  • Feelings are vehicles that can take us back to the moment when their underlying beliefs were formed.
  • “Nothing outside of me can bring me anything I need and nothing outside of me needs to change for me to be happy.”
  • The essence of all these teachings: I am the author of my experience and everything in my life is for me.
  • If you decide that happiness and joy are your goals, then whatever happens will serve that goal.
  • Bliss is the goal of this process.
  • The importance of ongoing practice. It gets easier if you persist.
  • Diederik’s Six-Step Process:
    • Step 1: I’m upset.
    • Step 2: Me: It’s about me.
    • Step 3: Focus on the feelings.
    • Step 4: Remember my ancient feelings.
    • Step 5: Establish my judgment of myself.
    • Step 6: Embrace the truth about me.
  • “Discomfort is aroused only to bring the need for correction to awareness.”
  • Programs available, remotely and in residence.

Website: choose-again.com

Book: Choose Again: Six Steps to Freedom

Book Diederik mentioned: What They Don’t Teach in Prenatal Class: The Key to Raising Trouble-Free Kids & Teens

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Transcript of this interview.

Interview recorded June 12, 2021

Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.

YouTube Video Chapters:

  • 00:00:00 – Introduction and Background of Diederik Wolsak
  • 00:05:15 – Core Beliefs and Self-Blame
  • 00:10:17 – The Formation of Core Beliefs
  • 00:14:26 – The Unbearable Existence
  • 00:19:04 – The Point of Change
  • 00:23:45 – Childhood in Indonesia and Self-Hatred
  • 00:28:03 – A Blindness to One’s Own Behavior
  • 00:32:34 – The Meaning Behind Lesson 135 in A Course in Miracles
  • 00:36:43 – Deep Transformation through the Process
  • 00:41:16 – The Masks We Wear
  • 00:45:42 – The Root of Beliefs
  • 00:49:52 – The Process of Transformation
  • 00:54:24 – The Power to Interpret Your Experience
  • 00:58:59 – The Unexpected Reaction
  • 01:02:35 – The Self’s Influence on Experience
  • 01:06:58 – Healing Through Awareness of Beliefs
  • 01:10:59 – The Guilt of Separation
  • 01:15:24 – The Journey to Oneness
  • 01:19:15 – The Importance of Commitment
  • 01:23:15 – Reflecting Core Beliefs and Healing the Self
  • 01:27:36 – The State of Consciousness and Beliefs
  • 01:31:49 – Finding Purpose in Office Jobs
  • 01:36:12 – Step Two: Recognizing the Author of Our Dreams
  • 01:40:26 – Tracing the Root Feeling
  • 01:44:38 – The Guilt Behind Punishment
  • 01:48:30 – Reforming the Criminal Justice System
  • 01:52:53 – Healing Together in Relationships
  • 01:57:14 – Finding Support Online
  • 02:01:48 – The Completion Process
  • 02:06:24 – The Purpose of Discomfort and Correction
  • 02:10:39 – Gratitude and Farewell

564. Scott Kiloby

Scott KilobyThis interview was recorded May 15, 2020, as part of an online conference entitled “Wisdom in Times of Crisis” offered by the Science and Nonduality Conference, held May 17-23, entitled Wisdom in Times of Crisis. The conference has finished, but you may sign up to access all of its content.

Scott Kiloby is an author and international speaker on mindfulness and addiction recovery. Scott is also the founder and director of the Kiloby Center for Recovery. After twenty years of addiction to drugs and alcohol, Scott began to develop Natural Rest for Addiction which has helped people all over the world confront the root of their addiction, anxiety, and depression.

Scott was the COO of MyLife Recovery which held the patent on the naltrexone implant. Scott also developed an app that acts as an interface between pain management doctors and their patients to decrease the likelihood of addiction. The app also protects doctors legally from claims of negligence arising out of opiate overdoses.

Originally from southern Indiana, Scott was an attorney for several years before becoming an author. He travels extensively across the United States and in Europe giving talks, seminars, and intensives.

Along with his work at the Kiloby Center, Scott is also the director and co-owner of the Natural Rest House, a detox and residential addiction treatment center located in La Quinta, California.

In addition to Natural Rest for Addiction: A Radical Approach to Recovery Through Mindfulness and Awareness, Scott is the author of the following books which can be found on Amazon:

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Transcript of this interview.

Interview recorded May 15, 2020.

Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.

YouTube Video Chapters:

  • 00:00:00 – Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump
  • 00:02:35 – Scott’s Background and Work in Addiction Treatment
  • 00:04:32 – The Kiloby Cooperative: Making Work Accessible and Affordable
  • 00:06:13 – The Advantages of Online Addiction Help
  • 00:07:53 – Becoming trauma-informed and shaping child development
  • 00:09:31 – Finding Meaning in Life and Overcoming Trauma
  • 00:11:23 – Clearing Traumatic Memories and Beliefs
  • 00:13:14 – The New Model for Quitting Addiction
  • 00:14:41 – Management and Treatment Options
  • 00:16:01 – Resolving Trauma: The Inquiry Process
  • 00:17:37 – Overcoming Bullying and Trauma
  • 00:19:14 – Developing a Method for Witnessing Thoughts
  • 00:20:43 – Helping People Cope with Fear and Uncertainty
  • 00:22:09 – Coping with Fear of Death and Illness During COVID
  • 00:23:55 – Practical Steps in the Real World for Dealing with Anxiety
  • 00:25:43 – Global Transformation in the Wake of COVID-19
  • 00:27:34 – The Urgency of Climate Change
  • 00:29:37 – Providing Free Support during the Pandemic
  • 00:31:28 – The Kiloby Inquiries and the Work of Undoing Connection
  • 00:33:13 – Helping People Financially
  • 00:35:03 – Living a Fear-Based Life
  • 00:36:34 – Helping People with Fear and Pain
  • 00:38:31 – Embracing and Illuminating the Dark Things
  • 00:40:11 – Skillful Relating to Experience
  • 00:41:44 – Tapping into Inner Resources
  • 00:43:37 – Embracing Non-Duality in the World
  • 00:45:34 – Exploring Alternative Ways of Dealing with Suffering
  • 00:47:24 – Addressing Social Issues in the Wake of COVID
  • 00:49:05 – Addressing Global Problems and Transformative Waves
  • 00:50:43 – A Conversation about Hope and Dreaming

562. James Finley

As a contemplative practitioner and clinical psychologist, James Finley helps seekers who desire to live a contemplative, whole life. Drawing from his experience as a former monk and spiritual directee of Thomas Merton, Jim offers trustworthy guidance for the spiritual journey through his website, online courses, occasional retreats, and the Center for Action and Contemplation where he serves as a core faculty member of The Living School for Action and Contemplation with Cynthia Bourgeault and Richard Rohr. Jim is the author of several books, including:

James’s podcast, Turning to the Mystics is for people searching for something more meaningful, intimate, and richly present in the divine gift of their lives. A clinical psychologist, James offers a modern take on the historical contemplative practices of Christian mystics like Teresa of Avila and Thomas Merton. Leaning into their experiences can become a gateway to hope, healing, and oneness. In each episode, Jim reads an excerpt from a mystical text, unpacks the meaning and symbolism, and then concludes with meditation and prayer. Together with Kirsten Oates from the Center for Action and Contemplation, they explore listener questions and examine their own paths as modern contemplatives in this beautiful and broken world.

Discussion of this interview in the BatGap Community Facebook Group.

Transcript of this interview.

Interview recorded August 1, 2020.

Video and audio below. Audio also available as a Podcast.

YouTube Video Chapters:

  • 00:00:00 – Introduction to Buddha at the Gas Pump
  • 00:04:41 – Thomas Merton: A Contemplative Life
  • 00:09:00 – The Solitude of Thomas Merton
  • 00:12:26 – Leaving the Monastery: Trauma and Abuse
  • 00:15:25 – Unitive Experiences and Fragility in Spiritual Traditions
  • 00:19:26 – Ascending to Higher States of Consciousness
  • 00:22:53 – The Brokenness Within Oneself
  • 00:26:45 – Abusive Relationships and Healing Processes
  • 00:30:41 – Mystics and Enlightenment in Christianity
  • 00:34:56 – Different Perspectives on Religion and Mysticism
  • 00:38:44 – Awakening and the Path of Transformation
  • 00:42:42 – The Endless Nature of Mysticism
  • 00:46:53 – The Center for Action and Contemplation
  • 00:50:28 – Finding a Healthy Balance
  • 00:54:00 – God’s Transcendence and Presence
  • 00:58:32 – The Ocean of Reality and the Religious Experience
  • 01:02:12 – The Play and Display of Divine Intelligence
  • 01:09:28 – The Deathless Beauty of the Beloved
  • 01:13:27 – The Unexpected Nearness of God
  • 01:17:21 – Respecting the Physiology and the Path to Awakening
  • 01:20:49 – The Asceticism of Dying and Letting Go
  • 01:24:37 – Understanding the Crucifixion and Resurrection
  • 01:28:46 – The Mystery of Faith and Resurrection
  • 01:32:24 – The Mystery of the Trinity and God’s Self-Expression
  • 01:36:12 – Mystical Consciousness 
  • 01:40:05 – Sensitizing ourselves to the beating heart
  • 01:44:18 – The Frustration of Spiritual Practice
  • 01:48:18 – Teaching and Engagement Opportunities with James Finley
  • 01:52:04 – Finding Your Practice and Community
  • 01:55:44 – Farewell and Thanks